I've recently been trying to expand my creative repertoire to include shooting for musicians and making shorts for YouTube. But as I've been attempting to chip away at these projects for the last 10 months I've come to realize a lot about my relationship with creativity.
Being in a creative profession, as a photographer for actor headshots, business headshots, and everything in between, I think people imagine I am creative all the time, or at least it feels like that's the role I should be fulfilling. My goodness, would I love if that were true! While I've been trying to build a foundation for my new projects, I've noticed the sheer quantity of things I let get in my way. From work, to to-do lists, to feeling that ever troubling pang of imposter syndrome, it has been surprisingly easy to push new goals aside.
Realistically though, what I do is certainly a symptom of why I do it and I think that stems from the nervousness of putting myself out there. Most of the creative spaces I've ever worked in have been safe and self-contained. The difference with working with musicians or making content for an internet audience is that those people don't know me. Where it's easier to win people over when you combine art with personality, it's a rather daunting prospect to rely on the art alone.
"What if people don't understand what I'm trying to say?" "What if they don't like the work, and in turn don't like me?" "What if I mess up?"
I finally came to the conclusion: So what?
Not everyone is going to like me or my work, I'm not going to get it right all the time. I think the main thing I want to focus on is encouraging a community of creative people around me. Creativity can be incredibly competitive because there are finite resources to fund our work full time. We definitely understand that. But the more we collaborate, the more opportunities we'll find together. Let's make stuff together!
Have you had the same experience as an actor? Let's chat about it. Comment below or tweet us @mjbhomeent!
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